Prof. Puff Fat, Ph.D.  (Harvard University)
January 5, 2009
I just finished calculations on my patented Computer Weather Data Predictor program. The results were astounding to say the least! Okay, here are the results: The earth will warm up about .56 degrees Centigrade over the next 50 years. How frightening! However, because of Free Carbon Offsets, we can safely have a consensus that the earth will heat up by only .55 degrees Centigrade! What a heartwarmer! You people are saints!

Ben Dover  (Plumber's Crack, Wyoming)
January 5, 2009 i just had a tire burning fest with the locals here at Plumber's Crack. Man, it was awesome!! However, i had a little bit of an issue with that smoke pollution. but, thanks to, i have no regrets! Excellent!!

Morton Salts  (Minsk, Belarus)
December 27, 2008
No more just for wealthy. Good thing you do. Many thanks.

Mark  (California)
December 26, 2008
Everyone knows when global warming runs its course it can then get very cold. So be careful about trying to cool the planet and combat global warming alone. I'm afraid issuing too many of these certificates may lead to Carbon Offset Inflation and could cause too much snowfall. Climate Change is what we're up against as humans. The goal of mankind should be to stabilize planetary temperatures to 74 degrees F, 365 days per year, no matter where you live--Alaska or Florida.

Mike Littoris  (Austin Texas)
December 26, 2008
Thanks for doing your part to battle Global Whining.

Jeff M  (Hercules,CA)
December 25, 2008
You'll turn off the water for 10 seconds while brushing your teeth just so I can burn some rubber in my my Mustang GT? I am in tears.

Logger  (Amazon)
December 24, 2008
Thanks for the offsets. I just clear cut about 5,000 acres of prime rain forest.

al gore's kid  (north pole with the polar bears that are drowning)
December 22, 2008
i just printed 200 offsets just now, in order to offset my fathers destructive hypocritical lifestyle. oh crap, here comes my dad!!

Butrus Butrus Galhi   (Chicago)
December 20, 2008
I just cut down all of my trees and lit them on fire

Captain Obvious  (You should know!)
December 20, 2008
In other news, the Pacific Northwest has just been buried under four feet of Global Warming. Seriously, if you believe the garbage Al Gore is spewing, you'd be filing a lawsuit to silence that con man. "Carbon Offsets"? More like "I've got the perfect scam to make myself rich! Tell everyone that the natural course of nature is all mankind's fault, then start screaming 'The Sky Is Falling! Buy "Carbon Offsets!" to make them think they're really doing something to 'save the planet'!" People seriously underestimate Mother Nature.

Comment pages:  <<  <  4  5  6  7  8  9  >  >> 
click go to add a comment:

add comment

   Share! digg it! Furl reddit Technorati Yahoo Newsvine Facebook Google StumbleUpon

The more clearly we can focus our attention on the wonders and realities of the universe, the less taste we shall have for destruction.
— Rachel Carson