The Joker  (Why so serious?)
December 20, 2008
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I never laughed so hard in my life...well, except for that one time back in '68...oh, yeah, and there was that time in '72...and just recently...I think it was last week at that barbeque my friends were having...oh, and that other time, and this one time, at band camp...and that one time in the police interrogation room with some dude dressed in this black clown suit...I said to him, "Why so serious?" and he just went all "I'm the ********* Batman!" on me, and well, I just laughed and laughed...

Santa Claus  (North Pole)
December 20, 2008
I plan on giving every bad kid that I leave a lump of coal in their stocking a free carbon offset certificate so they won't have to feel doubly guilty about being bad this year.

Freezin'  (Wyoming )
December 20, 2008
Christmas shopping all done! Thanks to!

Yucca Boy  (Jefferson Colorado)
December 20, 2008
Help. I just found out that water vapor is the highest contributor to atmospheric heat trapping. I need an Aqua Vapour offset certificate fast. Also I was going to give my rancher friend an offset for Christmas. Since CO2 is 27% Carbon and the flatulent methane from his cattle is 75% carbon, NEARLY THREE TIMES (3X) GREATER THAN CO2, should I just give him triple the number of offsets that a normal person would get or is there a special methane certificate?

Insane Clown Posse  (Orlando, FL)
December 20, 2008
On the internet, everything wants to be free. I knew this would happen. Thanks, Mickey!

Al Gore  (Your Backyard, USA)
December 16, 2008
You guys really are sick mocking a serious problem like Global Warming. There are polar bears drowning in the arctic, due to melting polar ice as we speak. Oh wait! Record cold temperatures in the arctic? Record snowfalls in Alaska? Polar Bears can swim? Oh, I feel so stupid...

Johnny B  (Providence,RI)
December 9, 2008
Just remember,,the best thing about a tree is what you can make out of it. Well time to run off 100 blank copies on the company copier then shred them.

Mook  (Up North)
November 7, 2008
I was feeling cold yesterday so I went to light a fire, but I was worried about my carbon emissions! After finding your website and alleviating my conscience, I poured a whole drum of gasoline on my driveway and lit it on fire. I sure was warm! Thank you Free Carbon Offsets!

Gretchen Doores  (Boston, MA)
November 6, 2008
I think this website is terrible, and you all should be ashamed of yourselves. Global warming is a reall serious problem that should not be taken lightly... That's why when I cheat on my boyfriend Danny with 12 black men, I don't use condoms because latex is non-biodegradeable!

Mark C.  (Atlanta, GA)
November 6, 2008
Thanks you guys so much for the free Carbon Offsets. Now I can fill up my Chevy Tahoe and not feel ashamed. I'll make sure all the Prius drivers know I'm Green by taping my offsets to the back window. God Bless you all!

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I walk without flinching through the burning cathedral of the summer. My bank of wild grass is majestic and full of music. It is a fire that solitude presses against my lips.
— Violette Leduc